Its such a vicious cycle, one begets the other. I am unsure if it will ever really end.
I'm in my last weeks of summer courses, and the last days of my sanity if things keep up. I'm running my self down, although not intentionally. I HATE my job. loathe, despise... hate it. I hate working with food and angry people and having to fake being happy all the time. I'd be so much happier working in a kitchen somewhere, where I could listen to music and not have to deal directly with customers, or even just as a cashier, Stand at my register and take orders and money. I Hate doing both, out in the open in a place thats rather inadequate.
Damn, that reminds me, I've got a whole lot more Biology Lab questions to do.
P.s
I am happy though that I joined the local YMCA. David and I went to the pool for a swim today... but so many kids... oh gosh we won't make that mistake again. But it wasn't the kids who bothered is, well not the little ones. The teenage boys were being asshats and hogging the lap lanes.
Anyone else get a little sad when their Mii changed physical appearance?
*sighs*
this sucks.
You can find me on DA, Myspace, Facebook, Shit-- Even Bebo (which i might not have much longer-- but eh)
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*sighs* I have no life-- and after an intense session with my boyfriend I'm also a rather horny person with nothing to do but look forward to sleep. (I don't care if you didn't need to know that-- you know it now.)
Well... I'm off to sleep. Class tomorrow and then the big check depositing date-- then lots and lots of philosophy homework to finish off. Intense to the max.
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Life's been absolutely amazing-- like really.
Camp is the past. I liked it but the only thing it did for me was nudge me closer to David. *huggles her Big Damn Hero* Speaking of, he's a lot of the reason I'm so damn happy now.
Its amazing whats right here in front of one's own face for so long. We're five hours away from each other right now but thats okay. I'm happy! And granted I'd be happier if we were closer but I can live with my happy right now.
I'm leaving Mercy. Its official. If I don't get into ESF I plan on going somewhere else upstate. Although I'd be delighted to get into ESF. It just looks so awesome.
Well I'm hungry-- maybe I'll update this later.
No one ever invites me to go anywhere (Well-- almost nobody, but the people who do usually aren't here)
and when I ask to go along with people the cars are always already full...
I'm falling into the same wallflower patterns I had when I was home.
But now I'm hungry, bitchy, and in pain (my knees feel like they met a mac truck.)
Look at the bright side, three weeks down seven more to go.
OXtariXo [12:29 PM]: the written!
azoicexistence [12:29 PM]: congrats
OXtariXo [12:29 PM]: thanks
azoicexistence [12:29 PM]: !!!!
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: good luck on the physical;
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: Thanks
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: i g2g
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: kk have fun
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: ttul
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: but fucking remember that its all in ur head
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: I will
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: and that ur head controls ur body
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: so get it the fuck out of ur head.
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: My head needs to be examed
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: lol
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: =]
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: hahah
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: good luck love!
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: <3
OXtariXo [12:30 PM]: you're the best lori
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: pshttttt
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: obviously
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: lol
azoicexistence [12:30 PM]: jk
azoicexistence [12:31 PM]: ciao bella!
OXtariXo [12:31 PM]: Caio
There are lots of cool people around, from Australia, England, South Africa and right here in the states.
So far I've passed my CPR and O2 exam-- now all I need to do is make it through the life guarding course.
Speaking of, We had swim practice at 7am this morning and while I feel that I did my best I know that I did not do well enough to pass the 500-- which I have to do a practice one tonite which I know isn't going to happen because I couldn't even make it a whole 50 across the pool without getting tired-- but i think that I know my flaw now and will be correcting that really soon.
But yeah-- no one wrote me on myspace or nothing-- bugger see if I come online again in the next few days-- I might as well stick with my camp buddies than try to talk to all yous.
I got a 74 on my Vet Tech final. I think that I could have done better but I kept it in the 70s and have a 74 average.
I'm happy.
- Location:Mercy College
- Music:hellogoodbye:BONNIE Taylor Shakedown
| VETC-101-DFA | INTRO VETERINARY SCIENCE | ATT | 3.00 | 0.00 | 0.00 | 0.00 | ||
| AMSL-116-DFA | INTERMEDIATE SIGN LANGUAGE | ATT | A- | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 11.01 | |
| HIST-105-DFA | AMER HIST THRU 1877 | ATT | B | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 9.00 | |
| ENGL-111-DFF | WRIT ENG & LIT STUDY I | ATT | B | 3.00 | 3.00 | 3.00 | 9.00 | |
| Current Term | 9.00 | 9.00 | 29.01 | 3.223 | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cumulative through Fall 2007 | 21.00 | 21.00 | 57.99 | 2.761 | ||||
*gets that feeling again.*
Tonite is my Vetc 101 final exam. Wish me luck?
P.s for my college buddies, I'm on campus today. I'll either be in the learning center or with Rosanna.
I've been cleaning (mostly stuff thats not mine) and packing and unpacking (things that are mine, things that need sorting, things that need to be in storage...)
I've just been pulled from my current cleaning project (the bathroom). That room was one hella mess with lots of old shit that didn't need to be there.
Tomorrow I tackle the laundry/back room. I'm going to attempt to set up one of my shelves in there so mom has a room thats a little less cluttered. She deserves it.
Also, I'm starting to apply for local menial jobs (like Starbucks) and trying to find out whats going down with my finincal aid.
I really want to go back to Mercy. I made some kick ass friends there. I really don't want to go to Community College and have to take a million more years to graduate than its already going to.
Since it looks like I'll be New York bound for the summer who wants to spend some time either chilling at the beach or wandering around the city?
- Location:Queens, New York
I really only like the end of the song, the last like 4 mins. The Lyrics are something as follows:
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have...
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in...
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in...
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down...come down...I cherish you...I cherish you.
Just say that you would do the same for me...
just say you would do the same for me...
just say you would do the same...
just say you would do the same, for me
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes.
----------------------------------------
IDK this song kinda poped in my head last night because like well you don't need to know my reasons why-- but I have always thought of this song like:
Did you ever look and see this one person? Someone so amazing in everything they do that it makes you fall head over heals for them in such a short time? its like no matter what you do they always seem to come to mind no matter how far from them you seem to get. One day, maybe by chance you get to feel loved (yes for you simple minds) by them, but you know that its an absolute falacy because they couldn't actually love you. No matter how close you seem to be they still feel so far away. You couldn't stand the idea of being alone but you don't have to anymore, Even if they don't stay for long you're thankful for the chance to feel beautiful again.
----------------------------
Oh shizznit, havn't broken that out in ages. Christ Vengance used to make me feel like that, writing poetry and stuff for me... and I havn't felt truly beautiful in far too long until recently. Maybe its the end of the school year-- maybe its the medications. Who knows, who cares I feel good about my self and thats what matters.
No one gets hurt.
that is all.
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serenityfallen- Serenitys' Fallen Angel
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